The Host Chapter 26: Returned

With appear ever actually agreeing to do it, I became the teacher Jeb precious.My class was informal. I processed questions every night after dinner. I raise that as grandsighted as I was instinctive to do this, Ian and Doc and Jeb would surrender me solo during the daytime so that I could concentrate on my chores. We always convened in the kitchen I similard to help with the baking while I wheel spoke. It gave me an explicate to pause before answering a difficult question, and well-nighw present to construction when I didnt want to meet any onenesss look. In my calculate, it chew the fatmed fitting my dustup were approximatelytimes upsetting, b atomic number 18ly my actions were always for their good.I didnt want to admit that Jamie was right. Obviously, people didnt like me. They couldnt I wasnt one of them. Jamie liked me, but that was further near hostile chemical reaction that was far from rational. Jeb liked me, but Jeb was crazy. The rest of them didnt a cquire either excuse. zero(prenominal) they didnt like me. tho affairs changed when I started gibbering.The first time I noniced it was the morning after I answered Docs questions at dinner I was in the black bathing room, washing clothes with Trudy, Lily, and Jamie.Could you extend to me the soap, please, Wanda? Trudy asked from my left.An electrical current ran finished and through my body at the sound of my name communicate by a female region. Numbly, I passed her the soap and then rinsed the pang off my hand.Thank you, she added.Youre delicious, I murmured. My voice cracked on the expiry syll subject.I passed Lily in the student residence a day later on my way to date Jamie before dinner.Wanda, she said, nodding.Lily, I answered, my throat dry.Soon it wasnt nonwithstanding Doc and Ian who asked questions at night. It surprised me who the most vocal were exhausted Walter, his reflexion a worrisome shade of gray, was endlessly interested in the batty of the Singi ng World. Heath, usually silent, letting Trudy and Geoffrey talk for him, was out(p)spoken during these evenings. He had some fascination with Fire World, and though it was one of my least favorite stories to tell, he peppered me with questions until hed perceive every detail I k in the raw. Lily was concerned with the mechanics of things-she wanted to know rough the ships that carried us from planet to planet, their pilots, their fuel. It was to Lily that I explained the cryotanks-something they had all inspectn but few at a lower placestood the purpose of. Shy Wes, usually sitting coterminous to Lily, asked not nigh former(a) planets but near(predicate) this one. How did it work? No money, no recompense for work-why did our souls society not fall apart? I tried to explain that it was not so different from life in the caves. Did we not all work without money and share in the products of our industry equally?Yes, he interrupted me, shaking his head. But its different here -Jeb has a gun for the drowsyers.Everyone looked at Jeb, who winked, and then they all laughed.Jeb was in attendance about every opposite night. He didnt participate he good sit d make viewfully in the back of the room, occasionally grinning.He was right about the entertainment factor oddly, for we all had legs, the situation reminded me of the See Weeds. there had been a special title for entertainers there, like Comforter or Healer or Seeker. I was one of the Storytellers, so the transition to a teacher here on Earth had not been such a change, profession-wise, at least. It was overmuch the same in the kitchen after unnotice qualified, with the smell of smoke and baking kale filling the room. Everyone was stuck here, as good as planted. My stories were something new, something to presuppose about at any rate the usual-the same endlessly repeated sweaty chores, the same thirty-five suits, the same memories of other faces that brought the same grief with them, the same fe ar and the same despair that had long been familiar companions. And so the kitchen was always full for my casual lessons. Only Sharon and Maggie were prominently and consistently absent.I was in about my fourth week as an informal teacher when life in the caves changed again.The kitchen was crowded, as was usual. Jeb and Doc were the alone ones missing besides the normal two. On the counter next to me was a metal tray of dark, doughy rolls, swollen to twice the size theyd started at. They were ready for the oven, as in brief as the current tray was done. Trudy checked every few legal proceeding to make sure nothing was burning.Often, I tried to hurt Jamie to talk for me when he knew the story well. I liked to watch the enthusiasm start out up his face, and the way he used his hands to draw pictures in the air. Tonight, Heidi wanted to know more about the Dolphins, so I asked Jamie to answer her questions as well as he could.The humans always spoke with sadness when they asked a bout our newest acquisition. They saw the Dolphins as mirrors of themselves in the first days of the occupation. Heidis dark look, disconcerting underneath her fringe of white-blond hair, were tight with sympathy as she asked her questions.They look more like huge dragonflies than fish, right, Wanda? Jamie almost always asked for corroboration, though he neer waited for my answer. Theyre all leathery, though, with three, four, or five sets of wings, depending on how doddery they are, right? So they kind of fly through the piss-its lighter than water here, less dense. They prepare five, seven, or nine-spot legs, depending on which gender they are, right, Wanda? They make up three different genders. They ware really long hands with tough, pixilated fingers that can build all kinds of things. They make cities under the water out of hard plants that grow there, kind of like trees but not really. They arent as far along as we are, right, Wanda? Because theyve never make a star ship or, like, telephones for communication. Humans were more advanced.Trudy pulled out the tray of baked rolls, and I bent to pinch the next tray of risen dough into the hot, smoking hole. It took a little jostling and balancing to get it in unspoilt right.As I sweated in front of the fire, I collard some kind of commotion outdoor(a) the kitchen, echoing down the hall from somewhere else in the caves. It was hard, with all the random sound reverberations and contrary acoustics, to judge distances here.Hey Jamie shouted behind me, and I cancelled just in time to see the back of his head as he sprinted out the door.I straightened out of my crouch and took a graduation after him, my instinct to fol petty(a).Wait, Ian said. Hell be back. Tell us more about the Dolphins.Ian was sitting on the counter beside the oven-a hot seat that I wouldnt have chosen-which made him close enough to reach out and touch my wrist. My progress flinched remote from the unexpected contact, but I s tayed where I was.Whats button on out there? I asked. I could still hear some kind of jabbering-I thought I could hear Jamies excited voice in the mix.Ian shrugged. Who knows? Maybe Jeb He shrugged again, as if he wasnt interested enough to issue with figuring it out. Nonchalant, but there was a tension in his eye I didnt understand.I was sure I would assure out soon enough, so I shrugged, too, and started explaining the incredibly complex familial relationships of the Dolphins while I helped Trudy stack the warm bread in p closeic containers.Six of the nine grandparents, so to speak, traditionally stay with the larvae through their first stage of growing while the three parents work with their six grandparents on a new wing of the family dwelling for the young to inhabit when they are mobile, I was explaining, my eyes on the rolls in my hands rather than my audience, as usual, when I heard the gasp from the back of the room. I continued with my next sentence automatically as I scanned the crowd to see who Id upset. The remaining three grandparents are customarily involvedNo one was upset with me. Every head was turned in the same direction I was looking. My eyes skipped crossways the backs of their heads to the dark exit.The first thing I saw was Jamies slight figure, clinging to someones arm. soulfulness so fetid, head to toe, that he almost blended right in with the cave wall. Someone too tall to be Jeb, and anyway, there was Jeb just behind Jamies shoulder. plain from this distance, I could see that Jebs eyes were narrowed and his jimmy wrinkled, as if he were anxious-a rare emotion for Jeb. Just as I could see that Jamies face was bright with sheer joy.Here we go, Ian muttered beside me, his voice moreover audible above the crackle of the flames.The pestilent man Jamie was still clinging to took a ill-use forward. One of his hands rose slowly, like an involuntary reflex, and curl into a fist.From the dirty figure came Jareds voice-flat, per fectly devoid of any inflection. What is the import of this, Jeb?My throat closed. I tried to swallow and found the way blocked. I tried to breathe and was not successful. My heart drummed unevenly.Jared Melanies exultant voice was loud, a silent shriek of elation. She burst into radiant life inside my head. Jared is classWanda is teaching us all about the universe, Jamie babbled eagerly, somehow not transmittable on to Jareds fury-he was too excited to pay attention, maybe.Wanda? Jared repeated in a low voice that was almost a talk.There were more dirty figures in the hall behind him. I only noticed them when they echoed his snarl with an outraged muttering.A blond head rose from the frozen audience. Paige lurched to her feet. Andy she cried, and stumbled through the figures seated around her. One of the dirty men stepped around Jared and caught her as she nearly poisonous over Wes. Oh, Andy she sobbed, the tone of her voice reminding me of Melanies.Paiges outburst changed th e cash machine momentarily. The silent crowd began to murmur, most of them rising to their feet. The sound was one of wel come on now, as the majority went to greet the returned travelers. I tried to read the strange expressions on their faces as they forced grins onto their lips and peeked furtively back at me. I realized after a long, slow second-time seemed to be congealing around me, frost me into place-that the expression I wondered at was guilt.Its going to be okay, Wanda, Ian murmured under his breath.I glanced at him wildly, searching for that same guilt on his face. I didnt find it, only a defensive tightening around his vivid eyes as he stared at the newcomers.What the hell, people? a new voice boomed.Kyle-easily identifiable by his size despite the grime-was shoving his way around Jared and heraldic bearing toward me.Youre letting it tell you its lies? Have you all gone(p) crazy? Or did it lead the Seekers here? Are you all parasites now?Many heads fell forward, ashame d. Only a few kept their chins stiffly in the air, their shoulders square up Lily, Trudy, Heath, Wes and frail Walter, of all people.Easy, Kyle, Walter said in his feeble voice.Kyle ignored him. He walked with deliberate steps toward me, his eyes, the same vibrant cobalt as his brothers, anxious with rage. I couldnt keep my eyes on him, though-they kept returning to Jareds dark shape, toilsome to read his camouflaged face.Melanies love flowed through me like a lake bursting through a dam, distracting me even more from the enraged barbarian stoppage the distance quickly.Ian slid into my view, moving to place himself in front of me. I combative my neck to the side to keep my view of Jared clear.Things changed while you were gone, brother.Kyle halted, face slack with disbelief. Did the Seekers come, then, Ian?Shes not a danger to us.Kyle ground his teeth together, and from the corner of my eye, I saw him reach for something in his pocket.This captured my attention at last. I crin ged, expecting a weapon. The words stumbled off my tongue in a choked whisper. Dont get in his way, Ian.Ian didnt respond to my plea. I was surprised at the amount of concern this caused me, at how much I didnt want him hurt. It wasnt the instinctive protection, the bone-deep need to protect, that I felt for Jamie or even Jared. I just knew that Ian should not be harmed trying to protect me.Kyles hand came back up, and a light shone out of it. He pointed it at Ians face, held it there for a moment. Ian didnt flinch from the light.So, what, then? Kyle demanded, lay the flashlight back in his pocket. Youre not a parasite. How did it get to you? tranquillise down, and well tell you all about it.No.The contradiction did not come from Kyle but from behind him. I watched Jared walk slowly toward us through the silent spectators. As he got closer, Jamie still clinging to his hand with a disjointed expression, I could read his face better under the mask of dirt. Even Melanie, all but del irious with happiness at his safe return, could not misunderstand the expression of loathing there.Jeb had wasted his efforts on the wrong people. It didnt way out that Trudy or Lily was speaking to me, that Ian would put himself between his brother and me, that Sharon and Maggie made no hostile move toward me. The only one who had to be convinced had now, finally, decided.I dont think anyone needs to calm down, Jared said through his teeth. Jeb, he continued, not looking to see if the old man had followed him forward, give me the gun.The silence that followed his words was so tense I could go through the pressure inside my ears.From the instant(a) I could clearly see his face, Id known it was over. I knew what I had to do now Melanie was in agreement. As quietly as I could, I took a step to the side and slightly back, so that I would be clear of Ian. Then I closed my eyes.Dont happen to have it on me, Jeb drawled.I peeked through narrowed eyes as Jared whirled to assess the rig ht of Jebs claim.Jareds breath whistled angrily through his nostrils. Fine, he muttered. He took another step toward me. It will be slower this way, though. It would be more humane if you were to find that gun fast.Please, Jared, lets talk, Ian said, planting his feet firmly as he spoke, already well-read the answer.I think theres been too much talk, Jared growled. Jeb left this up to me, and Ive made my decision.Jeb cleared his throat noisily. Jared spun halfway around to look at him again.What? he demanded. You made the rule, Jeb.Well, now, thats true.Jared turned back toward me. Ian, get out of my way.Well, well, hold on a sec, Jeb went on. If you recall, the rule was that whoever the body belonged to got to make the decision.A vein in Jareds forehead pulsed visibly. And?Seems to me like theres someone here with a claim just as strong as yours. Mebbe stronger.Jared stared straight ahead, processing this. afterwards a slow moment, understanding furrowed his brow. He looked down at the boy still hanging on his arm.All the joy had drained from Jamies face, going away it pale and horrorstruck.You cant, Jared, he choked. You wouldnt. Wandas good. Shes my friend And Mel What about Mel? You cant kill Mel Please You have to - He broke off, his expression agonized.I closed my eyes again, trying to block the picture of the suffering boy from my mind. It was already almost insufferable not to go to him. I locked my muscles in place, promising myself that it wouldnt help him if I moved now.So, Jeb said, his tone far too conversational for the moment, you can see that Jamies not in agreement. I figure hes got as much utter as you do.There was no answer for so long that I had to open my eyes again.Jared was staring at Jamies anguished, fearful face with his own kind of horror.How could you let this happen, Jeb? he whispered.There is a need for some talk, Jeb answered. Why dont you take a breather first, though? Maybe youll feel more up to conversation after a bath.J ared glared balefully at the old man, his eyes full of the shock and pain of the betrayed. I had only human comparisons for such a look. Caesar and Brutus, Jesus and Judas.The unbearable tension lasted through another long minute, and then Jared shook Jamies fingers off his arm.Kyle, Jared barked, turning and chaff out of the room.Kyle gave his brother a parting grimace and followed.The other dirty members of the expedition went after them silently, Paige tucked securely under Andys arm.Most of the other humans, all those who had hung their heads in shame for admitting me into their society, shuffled out behind them. Only Jamie, Jeb, and Ian beside me, and Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath, Lily, Wes, and Walter stayed.No one spoke until the echoes of their footsteps faded away into silence.Whew Ian breathed. That was close. Nice thinking, Jeb.Inspiration in desperation. But were not out of the woods yet, Jeb answered.Dont I know it You didnt leave the gun anywhere obvious, did you?Nope. I fi gured this exponent be comin on soon.Thats something, at least.Jamie was trembling, alone in the space left by the exodus. adjoin by those I had to count as friends, I felt able to walk to his side. He threw his fortification around my waist, and I patted his back with unstable hands.Its okay, I lied in a whisper. Its okay. I knew even a fool would hear the false note in my voice, and Jamie was not a fool.He wont hurt you, Jamie said thickly, struggling against the tears I could see in his eyes. I wont let him.Shh, I murmured.I was appalled-I could feel that my face was fixed in lines of horror. Jared was right-how could Jeb have let this happen? If theyd killed me the first day here, before Jamie had ever seen me Or that first week, while Jared kept me detached from everyone, before Jamie and I had become friends Or if I had just kept my mouth shut about Melanie It was too late for all that. My arms tightened around the child.Melanie was just as aghast. My poor baby.I told you it was a unfit idea to tell him everything, I reminded her.What will it do to him now, when we die?Its going to be terrible. Hell be traumatized and scarred and devastated Melanie interrupted me. Enough. I know, I know. But what can we do? non die, I suppose.Melanie and I thought about the likelihood of our survival and felt despair.Ian thumped Jamie on the back-I could feel the motion take form through both our bodies.Dont agonize over it, kid, he said. Youre not in this alone.Theyre just shocked, thats all. I recognized Trudys alto voice behind me. once we get a ascertain to explain, theyll see reason.See reason? Kyle? someone hissed almost unintelligibly.We knew this was coming, Jeb muttered. Just got to weather it. Storms pass.Maybe you ought to find that gun, Lily suggested calmly. Tonight might be a long one. Wanda can stay with Heidi and me -I think it might be better to keep her somewhere else, Ian disagreed. Maybe in the southern tunnels? Ill keep an eye on her. Jeb, w anna lend me a hand?They wouldnt look for her with me. Walters offer was just a whisper.Wes spoke over the last of Walters words. Ill tag along with you, Ian. Therere six of them.No, I finally managed to choke out. No. Thats not right. You shouldnt fight with each other. You all belong here. You belong together. Not fighting, not because of me.I pulled Jamies arms from around my waist, holding his wrists when he tried to stop me.I just need a minute to myself, I told him, ignoring all the stares I could feel on my face. I need to be alone. I turned my head to find Jeb. And you should have a chance to discuss this without me listening. Its not fair-having to discuss strategy in front of the enemy.Now, dont be like that, Jeb said.Let me have some time to think, Jeb.I stepped away from Jamie, dropping his hands. A hand fell on my shoulder, and I cringed.It was just Ian. Its not a good idea for you to be wandering around by yourself.I leaned toward him and tried to pitch my voice so low that Jamie wouldnt hear me clearly. Why prolong the inevitable? Will it get easier or harder for him?I thought I knew the answer to my last question. I ducked under Ians hand and broke into a run, sprinting for the exit.Wanda Jamie called after me.Someone quickly shushed him. There were no footsteps behind me. They must have seen the wisdom of letting me go.The hall was dark and abandoned. If I was lucky, Id be able to cut around the acuity of the big garden plaza in the dark with no one the wiser.In all my time here, the one thing Id never found was the way out. It seemed as if Id been down every tunnel time and again, and Id never seen an opening I hadnt eventually explored in search of one thing or another. I thought about it now as I crept through the deepest shadowed corners of the big cave. Where could the exit be? And I thought about this if I could figure that puzzle out, would I be able to leave?I couldnt think of anything worth leaving for-certainly not the desert waiti ng outside, but also not the Seeker, not the Healer, not my Comforter, not my life before, which had left such a shallow impression on me. Everything that really mattered was with me here. Jamie. Though he would kill me, Jared. I couldnt imagine locomote away from either of them.And Jeb. Ian. I had friends now. Doc, Trudy, Lily, Wes, Walter, Heath. Strange humans who could overlook what I was and see something they didnt have to kill. Maybe it was just curiosity, but regardless of that, they were willing to side with me against the rest of their tight-knit family of survivors. I shook my head in wonder as I traced the rough rock with my hands.I could hear others in the cavern, on the far side from me. I didnt pause they could not see me here, and Id just found the crevice I was looking for.After all, there was really only one place for me to go. Even if I could somehow have guessed the way to escape, I would still have gone this way. I crept into the blackest darkness imaginable an d hurried along my way.